Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
