No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize