haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
