JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
