alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
