so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
