It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
