You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
