The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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