So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
