He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
