Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She announced her abortion via fbk
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
