no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
