There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
