I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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