im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
