How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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