I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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