did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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