So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
