No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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