I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
