the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think your dad took our porno
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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