But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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