Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
