I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
