I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize