my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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