Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
