I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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