puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
