A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize