TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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