i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
