You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
