Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
