I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Dick very happy bro
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
