So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
