did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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