We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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