And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
