I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
