And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
True college students do jello shots in the library
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
