i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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