so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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