Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Pooping to opera.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
