I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
