I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize