She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
