I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
