Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
