All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
