we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
