I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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