Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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