not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
