Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
