Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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