you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
