oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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